Knock, knock, knockin’

Based on the numbers from my baseline ultrasound and bloodwork, I would say I am knocking on the door of diminished ovarian reserve (DOR).  However, I’m 36.  Not 27.  I am just glad we are doing IVF in 2011.

I’ve decided to positive and deal with the right now.

My antral follicle count was 11.  My estridol was 43.8.  And my AMH was .46.  They forgot to test my FSH, but are going to back test it and give me the numbers on Saturday.

These are rather average numbers for my age of 36.  I summed it up to my husband with “while they aren’t dangerously low, they aren’t fantastic either.”

So to recap my appointment, door to door, it was a 2.5 hour process, due to traffic.  At 6:30am.  Just sayin’

In a rather shocked tone, my doctor said: “WOW your right ovary looks GREAT.”   Without missing a beat I responded with “Didn’t you say I have average ovaries for my age. Ahem?” She started laughing and said “you are killing me here, but I will admit I do say that often to my 43 year old patients who are consistently asking about their ovaries.”     But then she said “But your right ovary looks fantastic.  The left one is rather quiet though.”     Apparently, in May, my right ovary did not look as great as it did today.  Progress, people, progress.

As of yesterday at 8pm, I started 300 Gonal f and 75 Menopur.  They initially suggested 375 Gonal f, but since my right ovary joined the party, that number is less now.   The hubs is setting up (including mixing), and I am injecting.  The Gonal F was painless, so much in fact that I almost wondered if I even did it right.  The Menopur burned like holy hell.   I have 3, tender, red spots on my tummy, and what looks to be another fantastic Lovenox bruise forming.

My next monitoring appointment is Saturday, between 6-10am.  And since it’s halfway to our favorite cider mill, we are going to trek there afterwards, for cider donuts, and pies, and apples, oh my.   I believe I’ll count this as my indulgance of the Satur(day).

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On with the show

Well my period arrived yesterday.  And tomorrow I go in for my baseline ultrasound and bloodwork.   With my doctor.  That is quite a lucky coincidence for me.  My doctor only does monitoring 2 days a week, and my baseline just happend to fall on one of those days.  I am so relieved.  

My second day of monitoring will be Saturday, and there is a great (female) doctor scheduled for weekend monitoring.    So far, so good.

If all looks ok, I will start stims, 375 Gonal-F and 75 Menopur, tomorrow or Thursday at 8pm.  It’s also back to Lovenox tomorrow.  It was a nice 4 day vacation from blood thinners.

Oh and my nurse told me to eat somthing small with my Doxycycline.  Thank god.  Doxycycline is a stomach destroyer.  Because really?  Any drug that is also used to prevent malaria means business.

So I should be spotting by now.  And AF should arrive in full force on Sept 27. 

However, there’s been nothing.  Nada.  I keep checking.  Honestly.

So I took a pregnancy test today.  However all I had was a digital and it screamed a loud “NOT PREGNANT” right before dinner, and right before I drank a bottle of wine.

Today I was with a friend, and I responded to an obvious question with “there’s no way I could be pregnant right now.”

And then I thought:  “Well there was that one night… holy crap”

And then I thought: “There was also the polyp removal.  and I don’t know when I ovulated.”

So now I am just waiting to bleed, so we can get this show on the road.

Because I cannot imagine we hit the jackpot. 

 

It’s real

We went in today to sign our consent forms.  Aieeee!  This is very real now.   We decided to donate all our leftover materials to research.  My husband was very for that.  I wasn’t sure at first, but he is right.   Its our small contribution so the IVF process continues to evolve.   I also managed to scam some expired menopur, which was dated 2009.  I was suprised they kept 2 year old, expired meds around, but it benefits me, so hey!   Anyway, this is for mixing practice, and not injection.   Our clinic does not have hands on education classes, they use a online e-learning module.    Online e-learning is always more our style, except when we realized we could potentially waste meds we paid for … so this is a much better option.   My husband is going to mix the meds, and I am going to inject them.

All that is left is to pay $5,500 for PGD.  I’ve met multiple people online who use my clinc, RMA of NJ.   And so far, I am the only one paying $5,500.  Everyone else is paying (or paid) $4,500.   When I questioned RMA about this, I was told that “the price has always been $5,500.”  I asked if I could spread the cost out into 2 payments, and they said no.  However, they are letting me pay a week late, and I only need $4,500 up front.   The last $1,000 is billed.

There is no doubt in my mind that for us, PGD is the way to go.  I’ve read too many stories of women who did PGD, and the best looking embryos (prior to PGD)  turned out to be the abnormal ones.  With a single embryo transfer, we cannot afford to any abnormal embryos.

40 Days of Indulgence

There are 40 days between now and when I learn if my IVF was successful.  40 difficult days.

Unfortunately, as the past few weeks haved progressed, I’ve become increasingly worried  about the IVF process.  Instead of remaining a ball of stress and upset, I am going to focus on diminishing both, daily. To start, on the advice of the lovely Sarra, I downloaded some meditations from http://www.healthjourneys.com/.

And for the next 40 days, I am going to spend a minimum of 40 minutes, everyday, on me.   I’ve started a list of ideas, and in fact, have already scheduled some appointments. My list will be evolving and I will cronicle it over there on my right sidebar.  Today, I had a massage, my first ever.  It was strange and new, yet wonderful.

Some of the ideas for my destress list are:

  • Acupuncture
  • Massage
  • Manicure/Pedicure
  • Indulging in gelato or insanely expensive chocolates, or a special dessert (mmm)
  • Lazing in a a bubble bath (and hey, I get to shop for pretty smelling soapy/candley things too)
  • Reading a fluffy magazine at the coffee shop
  • Strolling around the lake at the park
  • Enjoying a date night or picnic with my husband
  • Stretching, breathing, & meditating
  • Ambling to the farmer’s market
  • Indulging in an afternoon nap
  • Shopping for makeup & accessories 
  • Baking (this is one of my favorite things to do)

I had hope to go for a walk at the park tomorrow, however it is supposed to rain.  So I am going to take a nice bubble bath and then meditate.