Worry.

I am worrying nonstop that this pregnancy will end because there will be no heartbeat next week, or that somewhere along the line, I will have a missed miscarriage. While I know this worry isn’t healthy in my current state, it is all I can think about.

In other news, we met with the new hematologist yesterday and he was perfect for me. This is such a relief. He explained everything and is on the same page as we are about my care for the next 10 months. In fact, he scheduled my Anti-Xa blood work next week, immediately before my first MFM appointment. Both appointments are conveniently at the same hospital, and close to my office too.

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3 thoughts on “Worry.

  1. After all you’ve been through, worry is totally normal and understandable, so don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s such a hard time because you want to be happy and celebrate, but you’re so scared to let yourself really believe because you’ve already been through so much disappointment. But this is really it! You’re really pregnant, and I just really pray that this baby is the one who is meant to be your little baby. You are doing everything you can to stay healthy so you can carry this baby and nourish him (or her? I forgot!). I just know everything is going to be okay! Hang in there. Step by step you’ll see one milestone after another pass by until the worry is gone and everything is okay. I’m thinking of you!!

  2. With a troublesome history, I’m not sure it’s possible NOT to worry. I think the best any of us can do is let our worries motivate us to be educated patients and vigilant about following care plans.

    I may have told you this before, but it was a BIG deal for me to buy diapers for my baby this time. With my other kids I nested early, had my hospital bag packed around 20 wks, & would start stocking up on diapers. But this time, I didn’t buy diapers until the end & still had a debate with myself in the store. I stood there wondering if we’d really get to keep her or if I was just wasting money.

    We passed & celebrated many milestones, but never did get passed the point of worry. It’s ok to worry. It’s also ok to plan & dream too when you can.

    I haven’t been good at posting on my fvlpregnancy blog, so I’m linking our family blog here if you want to see updates (or history) on us. Hang in there. I’m sure excited for you.

  3. What everyone else said! With everything you’ve been through, I’m sure it’s impossible not to worry. Don’t beat yourself up on top of worrying. Just try to take it day by day. I have nothing but positive feelings about this baby – I will be positive for you. So glad you like your new hematologist. When you find a pediatrician in the area that you like, you’ll have to let me know! The one I’ve been to for my step daughter, I didn’t like…

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