IVF #4

We are (slowly) gearing up for IVF#4, which is tentatively scheduled for December or January.   Why so far away?   The treatment for my husband’s low morphology/sperm DNA fragmentation will take approximately 3 months to (hopefully) be effective and my body needs to get back to regular rhythms. I’m also behind on my supplements and acupuncture,  2 things that proved to very effective for IVF #3.  Oh and there has been a return to healthy eating and virtually eliminating alcohol.

After IVF #4, we are done.  We will transfer whatever we have (perhaps into a gestational carrier), and if nothing sticks, we will not have children.  I am no quitter, but it will be financially impossible to continue on after this point.

In fact, last week we cashed in an investment we made 13 years ago, something I have often affectionately referred to as “my engagement ring.”   Prior to our marriage, I decided I wanted to put the money my husband had set aside for an engagement ring into a real estate deal instead.   When my friends said “show me your ring!” I replied with “we are the proud owners of few doorknobs in Bucks County, PA.”  I rarely doubted this decision, as the investment paid us quarterly and has increased in value significantly.  However now because of infertility costs, we had to liquidate “my engagement ring.”  I feel a real sense of loss that we had to do this.   How many other women have sold their engagement ring for the oh so slim chance of having a baby?  I am in the minority.  On so many levels.

It stuns me me that people actually have sex and the result is a baby, while in comparison we have countless years of sadness and an empty bank account.    All that really runs through my head is “what losers we are.”


5 thoughts on “IVF #4

  1. Oh, I groaned out loud a little when I read the part about your “engagement ring”. I’m so sorry it’s come to this. We are flat broke right now while we try to get this third attempt off the ground, via maxing out another credit card. Most people will never understand the magnitude of their blessings when it comes to their easily conceived children.

  2. Yep, it’s totally unfair that other couples can just look at each other and bam! Pregnant, whatever. But here we are, RE #4, and this time waiting on financing for IVF #5. Just had my hysteroscopy and endometrial biopsy today, sigh. If we are successful I will be able to tell my child that they were worth the cost of a very, very nice new luxury automobile.

  3. Infertility is like kryptonite to reason and logic. When reason and logic are obliterated by that kryptonite, what takes their place is the mental equivalent of a Swiss army knife; a single tool that can make you question your faith, challenge a marriage, wreck a friendship, destroy a savings account…all at once.

    I SO get this. And Im sorry.

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