Traveling

We are in the process of finalizing a trip to Chicago to see Dr. Kwak-Kim. Her office sent me a pile of paperwork that I turned around within 3 hours. I think they were a little shocked at how quickly I completed it all. I guess that is the benefit(?) of already filling out similar paperwork for Dr. Braverman.

There are many reasons for the travel, however the main one is that we are on the cusp of making some significant decisions and we are not comfortable basing them solely on Dr. Braverman’s expertise. We want a second opinion. And honestly, I think we need the second opinion just to feel like we’ve covered all the possible bases. I could also go into the cons of dealing with Dr. Braverman, but I will just say that he’s a very busy doctor that is often spread too thin. Also, the jury is still out but it looks like Dr. Kwak-Kim takes our insurance.

Things with me are very up and down. Some days I am ok (not happy, but OK) and other days I cry often. There were tears today after I read a facebook status update that said “Children make the holiday season magical.” The truth is, I feel no magic in this holiday season (or the past few) and I’m looking forward to bidding 2012 adieu. Actually, I think my first thought here was “2012 can go fuck itself.” Recently, it occurred to me that I am not just crying for my recent miscarriage but at the very real possibility that our infertility journey has come to an end and we have 0 money and 0 children to show for it.

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6 thoughts on “Traveling

  1. Touché on your comment about 2012…I second that! Good luck for your trip to Chicago to get a second opinion, I hope you get the answers you are looking for. Big hugs, Candice

  2. I’m glad you are seeking another opinion to go forward feeling confident in your decisions. I’d be curious to know your other cons in dealing with Dr. B since we are also trying to make decisions moving forward. Looking forward to hearing what information your second opinion brings you.

  3. I just opened yet another Christmas card that came in the mail. Before I even opened it, I told my husband I was going to throw up if it was another baby picture. Sure as shit – it was. Almost every card I’ve received is simply a printed picture of someone’s baby. It is so saddening to me that everyone else gets to enjoy the holiday season with their children and once again, our arms are empty. I say fuck 2012, and every year prior to this that we have been TTC. I just want to move forward with my life, but know I can’t give up on my dream of being a mom. It is a terrible place to be in. I wish you all the best and hope that your dreams come true, some way, some how. My heart breaks when I think of others who have struggled for so long and so hard to make their dreams come true. I hope we all find peace soon.

  4. KTB- I’ve been thinking of you often, and wondering how you are doing. I’m glad that you are getting a second opinion, I think emotionally, it’s important- to know that if it comes to the end, you’ve left no stone unturned. Hang in there. I really, truly hope you get your miracle. It’s been such a long journey.- Pluwextra.

  5. I’m glad you’re getting another opinion as well. 2012 sucked big time. So does Facebook statuses and holiday photo cards. I could scream.

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